Has Constant-Travel Made Me Unappreciative?

When I was younger I dreamed about packing my bags and going on trips. Even if it was just to  LA, which is only a 4 hour drive from my hometown of Las Vegas.

Everything was a big deal. Sleeping the night before a flight was like Christmas Eve. I loved the energy at the airport. You know that feeling of the constant rush of people coming and going. People excited to come or sad to leave, it thrilled me.

Never in a million years did I think I would live a life of constant-travel.

Like many Americans, I went most of my adolescence without a passport, only traveling around the US. When I finally got my hands on that little blue book which had the most unattractive portrait of me with my hair tucked behind my ears, faded tank top and smileless face… I was on cloud nine.

Finally, I had my ticket to other worlds, other people, other languages and I couldn’t wait.

Fast forward to today, nearly 2 years and 16 countries later, after calling 3 of those countries “home”… I can’t help but feel exhausted by the thought of my next trip.

Travel has become the new club… so to speak. You want to show off the bottles you popped last weekend? Lame.

All of the cool kids are showing off their latest passport stamp.

Even though I can wholeheartedly get behind a movement that pushes people out of their comfort zones, I never bought into this lifestyle for the Instagram likes, the blog page views or the reputation.

I found this life due to necessity. If you follow my boyfriend and I, you’ll know that we are from two different countries, making it extremely difficult to find a place where we can both live together for longer than 3 months.

We’ve been in Europe, through Asia, to Mexico and back again… trying to make this thing work. In the meantime we’ve backpacked, traveled endlessly and shared some unforgettable moments… both good and bad.

I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. I’ve grown, stepped up to challenges, made tough decisions, felt strong and weak at the same time. All the while creating the illusion that traveling is easy.

I’ve stood in front of some of the world’s greatest wonders feeling completely depleted.

When I was in stunning Barcelona and could hardly pull myself off of the couch to see the city.. I knew it was time to slow down.

When I wasn’t moved by the beauty of some of the white sand beaches in Asia… I knew I needed a break.

When I was in Paris and just wanted to sit at the park with a croissant and do nothing else… I knew that enough was enough.

I realized that I wasn’t being ungrateful.. I just wasn’t being true to myself.

There are some people who can backpack for a year straight and love every second of it. There are people who don’t need to have roots planted anywhere. There are people who can fly by the seat of their pants and take on every single day as a new challenge.

I’m not one of those people.

I’m learning to be a little more like those people, but in some aspects that will just never be me… and that’s ok.

I want to have my own bed home to look forward to every night. I don’t want to feel temporary all of the time. I can’t live out of a suitcase any longer. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t commit to one place because I’m so used to just packing up and leaving as soon as the going gets tough.

Dare I say it.. maybe I’m getting too old for this sh#^!

There are so many places I am still dying to see (All of Africa, Israel, Scotland, Japan.. just to name a few)… but those places are not going anywhere.. and hopefully neither am I.

More than anything I pride myself on being authentically me, for better or worse. Checklist travel was never my jam and I’m not competing with anyone else to see who can cross more countries off of a completely irrelevant list.

Our only goal with this blog was to show other people that it is possible… but by no means am I going to lie and say that it is easy.

We’ve had to sleep outside on more than one occasion. We’ve endured Airbnb’s that were so terrible… sleeping outside would have been a better option. We’ve also stayed in 5-star hotels where we felt like we couldn’t amount to the red carpet that was being rolled out for us.

It has really all been one big game of give and take.

Through everything there is one thing I am sure of…

If I ever get to the point where I forget how fortunate I am- to have a US passport, to have a passport PERIOD, to be able to see the world, to experience so many things I never could have imagined I would ever do….

I’ll stop and remember that Vegas girl who got excited just by walking through the airport terminal.

Traveling is a gift that few receive. But what happens when the glamorized life of constant-travel isn't all it is cracked up to be?

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